in the fade


  1. When I see a sponsored post get 2k notes all I can think is, what a bunch of suckers.

  2. ‘Van Halen’ by Nerf Herder is my new jam.
Is this what you wanted, Sammy Hagar?

    ‘Van Halen’ by Nerf Herder is my new jam.

    Is this what you wanted, Sammy Hagar?

  3. I was, oddly enough, on the toilet bowl when I had the revelation. Someone else is going to be sitting on this bowl soon, I thought. Someone who is a stranger to me will call this bathroom their own and take their morning dump in the place I did so for ten years.

    Selling your house is weird.

    Ten years. I’ve lived here ten years. This house has seen a lot. A broken down relationship. A new marriage. Happiness. Tears. Joy. Sadness. It’s been through renovations and stagnation. It’s seen me at my best and at my worst. Every room holds memories, some of them I’m happy to say goodbye to, some of them I want to put under lock and key and never forget. I have had my lowest moment in this house. But I had my happiest moments here, too. 

    We will leave secrets behind in these walls. We will leave our metaphysical imprints, ghosts of us walking the hallway, going from room to room, whispers of our lives here floating around the walls and floors. We leave behind turmoil, we leave behind bliss. 

    I hope the new owners see as many moments of happiness I have in this home. I hope they enjoy the coziness and savor the yard the way we have. I hope they see none of the disarray and despair that enveloped the house before Todd got here. I hope they love this house the way we have. I hope they sit on the toilet one day and think, this was someone else’s bathroom, and maybe give some thought to the people who left good vibes laying around.

    I want to leave this house on a high note so we leave happiness on the doorstep.

    It’s time to start saying goodbye. 

  4. cloudya:


My dad was arrested a few months ago.
That’s hard to say. It’s even harder to believe.
Out of the blue, some cops showed up at my dad’s door and told him someone had accused him of theft and assault. My dad was locked up. He was subjected to a full body search and put in a jail cell. He had to spend the night there while my family scrambled to make bail.
But here’s the thing: my dad was working at the time of the alleged crime. He’s a delivery person for a pharmaceutical company. He has his clients’ signatures and paperwork, as well as their verbal confirmations that they saw him, as evidence to back him up. He has his cell phone triangulation data which puts him nowhere near the alleged victim. Moreover, my dad is not a criminal. He’s not violent. He’s 65 years old. He’s a freaking vegan.
None of this matters. All you need in order to be arrested is an accusation. The police didn’t check my dad’s whereabouts or look into the feasibility of the accuser’s story. They didn’t care. The reality of the justice system is that you are guilty until you can prove yourself innocent.
And good luck with that because it’s going to cost you.  Bail fees, attorney fees, court fees – my dad has had to deal with all of them. And then, to make matters worse, his company fired him because he now has an arrest record.
What about the accuser?  It has since surfaced that he’s acquainted with of one of the men on my dad’s delivery route. This man was angry because my dad refused to leave deliveries on without obtaining a signature. My dad refused to do this because it’s against the law. He is required to get a signature. So this man concocted a way to teach my dad a lesson. He supplied his friend with my dad’s name and description, and he got him to tell a lie. A lie that has cost my dad his job, his savings, and his pride. A lie that is still hanging over him as court dates get pushed back and back and back.
The evidence is with my dad.  His case is open and shut. He is innocent. Unfortunately, prosecutors keep asking for and receiving more time to prepare. This has now dragged on for over 7 months. Until he gets his hearing, my dad is unable to work. He has to pay his lawyer’s retainer. He has to pay the mortgage. He has to make ends meet.
My dad has paid over $14,000 in legal fees. Now he’s unemployed and still owes upwards of $7500. My brother and I have given him everything we have. And still, the costs keep piling up. We are drowning.
I’ve started a fund to raise money for my dad. If you can donate just one dollar or two, it would help us out so much. If you can’t, please consider reblogging? Anything you can do – anything at all – would be incredibly appreciated.
The truth is that this isn’t the kind of thing you want to share with the world.  I don’t want to stand, hat-in-hand, before my friends and say, “help me.” But I have to. For my dad, who taught me that we do whatever we can to help the ones we love. He has always, always fought for me. So it’s my turn to fight for him.

    cloudya:

    My dad was arrested a few months ago.

    That’s hard to say. It’s even harder to believe.

    Out of the blue, some cops showed up at my dad’s door and told him someone had accused him of theft and assault. My dad was locked up. He was subjected to a full body search and put in a jail cell. He had to spend the night there while my family scrambled to make bail.

    But here’s the thing: my dad was working at the time of the alleged crime. He’s a delivery person for a pharmaceutical company. He has his clients’ signatures and paperwork, as well as their verbal confirmations that they saw him, as evidence to back him up. He has his cell phone triangulation data which puts him nowhere near the alleged victim. Moreover, my dad is not a criminal. He’s not violent. He’s 65 years old. He’s a freaking vegan.

    None of this matters. All you need in order to be arrested is an accusation. The police didn’t check my dad’s whereabouts or look into the feasibility of the accuser’s story. They didn’t care. The reality of the justice system is that you are guilty until you can prove yourself innocent.

    And good luck with that because it’s going to cost you.  Bail fees, attorney fees, court fees – my dad has had to deal with all of them. And then, to make matters worse, his company fired him because he now has an arrest record.

    What about the accuser?  It has since surfaced that he’s acquainted with of one of the men on my dad’s delivery route. This man was angry because my dad refused to leave deliveries on without obtaining a signature. My dad refused to do this because it’s against the law. He is required to get a signature. So this man concocted a way to teach my dad a lesson. He supplied his friend with my dad’s name and description, and he got him to tell a lie. A lie that has cost my dad his job, his savings, and his pride. A lie that is still hanging over him as court dates get pushed back and back and back.

    The evidence is with my dad.  His case is open and shut. He is innocent. Unfortunately, prosecutors keep asking for and receiving more time to prepare. This has now dragged on for over 7 months. Until he gets his hearing, my dad is unable to work. He has to pay his lawyer’s retainer. He has to pay the mortgage. He has to make ends meet.

    My dad has paid over $14,000 in legal fees. Now he’s unemployed and still owes upwards of $7500. My brother and I have given him everything we have. And still, the costs keep piling up. We are drowning.

    I’ve started a fund to raise money for my dad. If you can donate just one dollar or two, it would help us out so much. If you can’t, please consider reblogging? Anything you can do – anything at all – would be incredibly appreciated.

    The truth is that this isn’t the kind of thing you want to share with the world.  I don’t want to stand, hat-in-hand, before my friends and say, “help me.” But I have to. For my dad, who taught me that we do whatever we can to help the ones we love. He has always, always fought for me. So it’s my turn to fight for him.

    (via coyotesqrl)

  5. sometimes I emphatically hit that heart, like press down on my keyboard really hard because I mean it. hope you felt that.

  6. Good morning.

  7. Good morning. The sky is glowing.

    Good morning. The sky is glowing.

  8. The carpet people are coming to rip out the rugs today in preparation for laying all new carpet in the house tomorrow. In every room but the kitchen. Because a house is easier to sell when it has all new carpeting (in addition to all new paint which was done last week). So they are going to move furniture out of some rooms and put it into other rooms and turn everything even more upside down than it’s been and when I get home from work there will be a couch and a love seat in my kitchen and who knows what who knows where. I’m just so tired of this upheaval in the house which seems to be matching point to point the upheaval in my life and everything is a mess and I just want to fast forward say two months from now when I hope like hell everything will be settled and as close to normal as possible.

    Upheaval is not an easy thing to deal with and when you’re a person who suffers from generalized anxiety disorder it’s just harder and messier in your brain to deal with.

    Add to everything going on right now (some things I have barely talked about as well) the fact that my sister is moving away Friday and she’s always been my calming factor, the person who chills me out when I’m freaking out, a best friend, a confidant, the person who most understands my sense of humor and just my baby sister in general and I’m losing her to Rhode Island, well this is not making the upheaval in my life any easier. I’ve yet to let my mind deal with the fact that after Friday she won’t be right upstairs anymore, that my nephew won’t be hanging out in the backyard with me waiting for Todd to tell him some story. I’m so god damn happy for her though, for this new life she is starting with Matt and his son that I can’t be upset for me too much. 

    Or can I.

    You know the phrase “don’t upset the apple cart?” Well my apples are all over the fucking ground right now and they are rolling away and the cart is upside down and I think there are some feral cats eating the apples that haven’t rolled down this giant fucking hill the apple cart was precariously perched on.

    Life. What an asshole.

  9. This chair was in the elevator this morning. When I first got on, the maintenance guy was sitting in it. He asked me to sit on his lap. I didn’t know what to say. I now feel gross and angry.

    This chair was in the elevator this morning. When I first got on, the maintenance guy was sitting in it. He asked me to sit on his lap. I didn’t know what to say. I now feel gross and angry.

  10. I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.

    Time to drag this one out. Again.