in the fade


  1. Be careful that you don’t confuse your own expectations with the expectations of others. What you want - or what you want for them - is not always what they want and to force a reconciliation of two disparate expectations only leads to frustration on two fronts.
Listen carefully when someone speaks of their needs. Do not conflate those needs with yours. 
Segregate yourself once in a while. Separate yourself from others. Look at them as whole beings and not part of your ideal of them.
And never try to force someone to have their cake and eat it, too. As much as you thought you had that person’s best interests in mind, if it turns out they really don’t like cake, you’re not doing anyone except yourself any favors. 
It’s not always about you.
Just listen the next time someone tells you what they want or need or don’t want or need. Really listen. Not with the intent to change their mind to fit your expectations or needs. But listen with the intent to respect their wishes.
That’s often their only wish. 
Listen.

    Be careful that you don’t confuse your own expectations with the expectations of others. What you want - or what you want for them - is not always what they want and to force a reconciliation of two disparate expectations only leads to frustration on two fronts.

    Listen carefully when someone speaks of their needs. Do not conflate those needs with yours. 

    Segregate yourself once in a while. Separate yourself from others. Look at them as whole beings and not part of your ideal of them.

    And never try to force someone to have their cake and eat it, too. As much as you thought you had that person’s best interests in mind, if it turns out they really don’t like cake, you’re not doing anyone except yourself any favors. 

    It’s not always about you.

    Just listen the next time someone tells you what they want or need or don’t want or need. Really listen. Not with the intent to change their mind to fit your expectations or needs. But listen with the intent to respect their wishes.

    That’s often their only wish. 

    Listen.