in the fade


  1. random thoughts brought to you by channel 14

    There was a time when I was in serious financial distress. In addition to all the important bills I failed to pay, I failed to pay the cable bill for a few months in a row. When that happens, they cut you off. And when they cut you off, every channel on your cable box will revert to the programming channel, which just scrolls what’s on today and plays some smooth jazz dentist office music. Every channel a blaring reminder that you have no money.

    Every time I’m channel surfing and I go past the “what’s on” channel I get a brief surge of panic where I freak out like they turned my cable off because I have no money. I have to push to the next channel super quick to make sure everything is still working, even though I know damn well my cable bill is at zero balance.

    This is the same part of my brain that still makes me have a small moment of panic every time I run my debit card through a machine, waiting for it to say “declined” even though that’s not going to happen anymore.

    Memories are weird.